In no particular order:
#1 - Monster Boobs and the Fight for Freedom - Yeah, you'd think you'd like big boobs and all, but when you wear a button front shirt, your boobs try to bust out of your shirt like pre-pubescent girls at a New Kids concert fighting to get through security. It's a blast when a button pops off at your nephew's t-ball game and you're trying in vain to hold the shirt together, knowing the whole time the parents of the other kids are thinking, "Hussy."
#2 - Stair-Stepping and Popping Knees - For your knees, going down stairs is like going down on a drunk frat boy - you think it's never going to end and you're wondering if it's even worth it.
#3 - Boy Scouts and Thunder Thighs - Your thighs rub together everywhere you walk. You try to pick 'quiet' fabrics, but even those have their issues. I'm waiting for the day I'm wearing cords and I start a fire right under my crotch.
#4 - Match and Match Alike - Fat girls aren't allowed to have matching bra and panty sets. Sometimes you can fake something, but even then it's almost impossible to match it to an outfit. It seriously compromises your ability to obtain some sexy times since we all know guys are all worried about whether or not you match.
#5 - Cankles - You say they're a side effect of medication, but they're really pockets of fat that slid down from your ass cheeks.
#6 - Exes and Shoe Racks - You're shopping, then notice an ex over in the men's department. You quickly hide behind the shoe racks and spy on him, huddled over and peeking through the shelves until he leaves, because you can't let him see you fat.
#7 - Don't Take Me Out to the Ballgame - Even though nobody's scoring and everybody's striking out, sitting on the edge of the seat just means you're excited about the game - not that your fat ass won't fit in it. Which is doesn't.
#8 - Take My Breath Away - Think going down stairs is bad? Try going up a flight. Your lungs won't be able to thank you. They won't be able to do anything.
#9 - Weight of the World on Your Shoulders - Trenches. You have them on your shoulders. Dips, where the fat and tissue has been pulled down constantly from bra straps. Holding up those puppies isn't an easy task, even though you buy the bras with the wide straps. It distributes the weight in some form, but more than that just gives you a wider trench. Bowling balls probably weigh less.
#2 - Stair-Stepping and Popping Knees - For your knees, going down stairs is like going down on a drunk frat boy - you think it's never going to end and you're wondering if it's even worth it.
#3 - Boy Scouts and Thunder Thighs - Your thighs rub together everywhere you walk. You try to pick 'quiet' fabrics, but even those have their issues. I'm waiting for the day I'm wearing cords and I start a fire right under my crotch.
#4 - Match and Match Alike - Fat girls aren't allowed to have matching bra and panty sets. Sometimes you can fake something, but even then it's almost impossible to match it to an outfit. It seriously compromises your ability to obtain some sexy times since we all know guys are all worried about whether or not you match.
#5 - Cankles - You say they're a side effect of medication, but they're really pockets of fat that slid down from your ass cheeks.
#6 - Exes and Shoe Racks - You're shopping, then notice an ex over in the men's department. You quickly hide behind the shoe racks and spy on him, huddled over and peeking through the shelves until he leaves, because you can't let him see you fat.
#7 - Don't Take Me Out to the Ballgame - Even though nobody's scoring and everybody's striking out, sitting on the edge of the seat just means you're excited about the game - not that your fat ass won't fit in it. Which is doesn't.
#8 - Take My Breath Away - Think going down stairs is bad? Try going up a flight. Your lungs won't be able to thank you. They won't be able to do anything.
#9 - Weight of the World on Your Shoulders - Trenches. You have them on your shoulders. Dips, where the fat and tissue has been pulled down constantly from bra straps. Holding up those puppies isn't an easy task, even though you buy the bras with the wide straps. It distributes the weight in some form, but more than that just gives you a wider trench. Bowling balls probably weigh less.
#10 - Giving Them the Slip - If you're lucky, you'll be larger than the largest bras they carry in the stores. You can go to a specialty place, but you won't be able to find anything cute. More like harnesses in white and beige. So instead, you buy these nifty little 'extenders' you put on the bra to make the bust size wider. Only it screws up where the straps fall, and they keep sliding off your shoulders. It may look good on the vixens on the cover of romance novels, but not so much on a Big Girl.
